With Mother's Day right around the corner, I'm sure a lot of us are getting all sappy and sentimental about our mommies... or about being a mommy. While it still hasn't fully hit me yet that this time next year I will be gearing up for my first Mother's Day as a ... well... mother... it did hit me today that I really miss my own mom and wish she lived a lot closer.
I had a wonderful, magical childhood followed by some rough and rowdy teenage years. When I left to join the military, my mom and I grew both closer and farther apart in many ways. In my 20's we finally started to reconnect and really made leaps and bounds in our relationship. Over the past few years, we have really become good friends, which is something I always wanted (even if I didn't realize it as a teenager). Now that I am 29 and just a few months from experiencing the roller coaster that is motherhood myself, I have really been spending a lot of time thinking about my mom. I have developed a deeper appreciation and respect for who she is and how she raised me. I catch myself daydreaming about my childhood and analyzing her parenting skills/decision... and you know what... I want to be just like her. I want to get to know her even better and learn more about how she did what she did all these years.
I also find myself wishing that we lived much closer. When I still lived at home, I always took for granted that she was there to talk to in the middle of the night, to ask advice, to laugh and cry with or to spend Saturdays shopping with... and rarely did I seize those opportunities. Now more than ever, I regret that. Now that I'm a thousand miles away, I would give anything for a Saturday morning coffee date or a chance to go to church together then cook out on Sundays. To share the kitchen on Thanksgiving and get together for dinner on random week nights "just because".
To celebrate Mother's Day with her the way I always should have.
Luckily, she is only a phone call away and we do chat often, but for right now, that just doesn't seem to be enough. I know I am fortunate, unlike many others that I know, to still have my mom in my life, alive and healthy as ever... but I'm feeling a little greedy today and I just kind of miss my Mommy. :)