8.11.2012

I miss it.

So I had a mini cry fest last night (ok ok... ugly cry for a little bit) and said something I never ever thought I would say... 
"I miss being pregnant"
 
Yep. I do.
 
I never ever thought I would feel this way. I felt like absolute dog crap for the first half of this pregnancy and (as grateful as I was to be growing a baby) I couldn't wait to get the whole labor thing over with and just hold my little one in my arms. Now that she's here... I kind of miss the excitement, the anticipation, the "is it a boy or a girl" and the "s/he's all mine" feeling.

I felt similarly after I got engaged and after my wedding. I wanted nothing more than to be engaged... then once I had the ring on my finger I missed the "is he ever going to ask" and "I wonder if today is the day and how he is going to do it"... then I counted down the days to my wedding and just couldn't wait to be a "Mrs"... but once it was over and life settled down, I remember getting teary eyed that our big day had passed... it was over, done, never to be enjoyed again.  I wanted to turn back the clock and savor the anticipation, feel those butterflies again as I walked down the aisle, make our first dance last just a few minutes longer, enjoy our last dance one last time.
I love being married and I love being a mom, I wouldn't change my life for anything in this world... but part of me really wants to go back and re-live the days/weeks/months leading up to those life changing events (even the labor part... now I KNOW I'm nuts). People told me in the first trimester (when I was unbelievably sick and miserable) that I would miss this... I thought they were nuts.  But now I would give anything (well not anything, but close) to go back in time, slow it down and soak it all in. It really went by way too fast.

The perfect song for this moment......