1.11.2012

My First "OMG I am totally pregnant" moment...

For those of you that have not been following my whiney morning sickness saga, let me just tell you that I am a puking machine.  I have had ridiculous m/s and have been vomitting multiple times a day (even on Zofran) for about the last 6 weeks or so.  bleh.  At the OB's suggestion, I have been eating nothing but bagels, dry cereal, pretzels, toast, etc.  The few times that I tried something other than dry carbs, I regretted it... and half the time I even regretted the "safe" foods.  Normally, I LOVE food... so this whole eating minuscule amounts of cardboard crap is making me a crazy person.

So.... yesterday, I couldn't take it anymore.  I wanted a Salted Caramel Mocha from Starbucks and I wanted it bad.  Nothing was stopping me.  My husband reminded me that this was a bad idea, then just shook his head and took me to Starbucks after work where I began my ridiculous naughty food/drink binge.  When I got home, I proceeded to eat about 1/2 dozen pickles.  Then drank a boat load of ice water (I also have not had plain water in over a month... I miss it!!) then stuffed my face with a bowl full of mac-n-cheese.

Obviously, my salted caramel mocha, pickles, mac-n-cheese binge was unwise and I spent a good 30 minutes praying to my dear friend, the porcelain goddess.  In the middle of  the good old heave-ho, I started thinking about what I was going to eat when I was finished.  When I realized that I was puking and simultaneously planning my next food binge, I started laughing.  I was laughing uncontrollably... so hard I was crying. 

At some point, my husband walked into the bathroom to see what all the commotion was and finds me curled up around the toilet, laughing hysterically and crying and heaving.  He asked if I was ok and the only thing I could mutter was "Can I please have some sherbet?"

I am quite certain he thinks I am certifiable at this point.