Kennedy's 21 Month Check In

It's hard to believe we are really closing in on Kennedy's second birthday.  This month was pretty dismal, but the weather is sloooooowly improving and I finally see some sunny days and play time outside in the near future.

How Big Is Baby?

• Kennedy is about 24-25 pounds
• Since she wears mostly Pull Ups during the day, her 2T pants are still way too big.  She wears 18 month pants and even some 12T shorts.  Tops-wise, she is in 18 month and 2T
• Size 5 shoes still
• She is wearing Pull Ups mostly during the day (and doing an AWESOME job with potty training). At night, we still use cloth diapers and she still fits in her one sizes perfectly

Development & Milestones

• I feel like I say this every month, but her language development is really amazing.  She has started to put 3 word sentances together.
• My favorite thing?  "Yes, please!"  She is just so polite and it is the cutest thing.  She says "Yes, please" and "Thank you buddy" all the time.  ::gushing proud mama here::
• Still no fear of strangers and still loves to wave and say "Hi" or "Hi buddy" to everyone
• No new progress with potty training.  K pees on the potty about 75% of the time, but still doesn't let us know when she needs to (or already has!?  ugh) to poop
• Tooth count... I'm just going to guess full set. I can't tell if she has cut any new ones or not, lol!

Diet/Nursing

• Still nursing away! Mostly just nap time and bed time now, but 21 months and still going strong!  It's funny because I really never pictured myself as someone who would nurse for an extended period, but here we are... and I wouldn't have it any other way.
• Her appetite comes and goes, but she definitely has a preference for fresh fruit.  Luckily, so do I, so we are a match made in heaven.

Sleep

• Sleep was great this month.  I have been encouraging Kevin to put her to bed a little earlier, especially on nights that I am at work and this seems to be working well.
• Naps were so-so.  It must be so tough for her to flip flop back and forth between my work and day off schedule... but she does her best and we make it work. 

Mommy & Daddy Check In

• This month has been really great!  Kevin and I have both been keeping up with Insanity and have really made an effort to eat cleaner and healthier than we already do.  Kevin has lost several inches and his changing shape is becoming more obvious!  I am so proud of how hard he is working!
• Otherwise... work is work and school is school and life is crazy, but beautiful.

Any appointments, visitors or outings? Anything else new?

• Not much this month again.  A few trips to the park, a 6 legged 5K (which was WAY fun!), a trip to the zoo and an outing to check out Billy Beez... hopefully some sunshine and play time in the neatr future.

Any upcoming developments, milestones? What's next?

• Next appointment will be 2 year well check in July.

Two.

You would be 2 years old today.  I watch Kennedy running around and singing the song from Frozen and catch myself daydreaming about you.  She definitely has a personality all her own, but when I look at her, especially on days like today, I think of you. 

If you were here, she would not be.  What a strange and confusing emotion.  I am so grateful for her, but I so desperately long to know you, to hold you, to have you here with me.

I still have the wonders and what if's... the daydreams and nightmares... I still wonder if you were an Emily Rose or a (boy name we never talked about).  I wonder if you would be as obsessed with Frozen as she is and if you would adore the puppies as much as she does.  I wonder if you would be clumsy or quiet or shy or silly.  I wonder what your laugh would sound like.

So today, like many days, I wonder.

I went back and read some old blog entires... the day I found out I was pregnant with you... the day I found out I lost you... your first birthday in heaven.  The raw emotion came flooding back just as strong as those first days.  It's amazing how reading one's own letters is like stepping back in time.  The pain felt fresh all over again and I feel the tears flowing again.

Then Kennedy, your sweet and silly earthly sister climbs into my lap and says "I love you mama" and as much as I know it is her comforting me, in some strange way I feel you.

Thank you.

And happy birthday, sweet angel.