Kennedy's 15 Month Check In

Rolling right along at 15 months.   To say that time is flying would be an understament.  I swear I blink and *bam* another month has gone by.  The 15 month language explosion is in full force and since I wrote the post about Baby Signing, Kennedy has picked up at least 10-12 more words.  It is such a joy to be able to communicate with her and watch her discover her voice.  She did have a nasty bout of Coxsackie virus (hand, foot & mouth) that left her with a fever and blisters all over (her hands, foot and mouth go figure)... but she is feeling much better now.

How Big Is Baby?

• Kennedy is definitely over 20 pounds now, we will find out exactly how much at her appointment tomorrow.
• She is wearing whatever is left of her 12 month, but mostly 18 month clothing and a few 2T items.  T... for TODDLER... WOWZA!
• Size 4 shoes are all too small now, which is a bummer because she had some really cute size 4 shoes.  Time to go shopping! 
• Full time cloth diapering. Size smalls still fit, but we are running out of snaps to move out.  The One sizes have plenty of room left to go.  She has also started peeing on the potty... a lot!  We may very well be out of cloth diapers within the next few months.

Development & Milestones

• She walks and runs very well now.  She has also mastered climbing up and DOWN the stairs gracefully.  Better than me, probably.
• Her language development never ceases to amaze me.  She is up to over 30 words signing and about 10 or so words verbally.  So fun!
• The tooth count is still at 8... still no molars

Diet/Nursing

• We are still nursing and love it!  I just love my sweet snuggles and nightly nursing sessions (when I'm not working) with baby girl.
• Pumping is officially finished.  Not pleasant at first, but my body is getting the hint and the nights I work are getting more bearable.
• Food-wise, Kennedy has definitely developed some favorites... french fries (or anything potato), frozen fruit, fruit snacks and sausage.  Her appetite has been so-so due to a nasty virus, but she still loves her food.

Sleep

• Sleep has been pretty good, despite the yucky bug she fought off.  She is sleeping about 10 hours/night with a short nursing (or water when mommy is at work) break in the middle.  She always wakes up in a great mood with mommy, but when daddy has to wake her up early, she is Captain Cranky Pants.
• Naps are good.  She is down to 1 nap a day and it is consistently between 2-3 hours.  She always wakes up smiling from her nap.  Love it!

Mommy & Daddy Check In

• It's been a rough month for us.  I am fairly certain that there was not one day this month that we were all healthy.  Blah!  I will be thrilled when this funk leaves our house for good!
• In other news, since I have completely cut out pumping, I am hoping my cycle will return soon and we can officially begin TTC #2.  We are excited, nervous and well... nervous., but we can't wait to have a little brother or sister for Kennedy to torture... I mean... play with and love.  :)

Any appointments, visitors or outings? Anything else new?

• We took Kennedy to the Zoo Boo this past Saturday.  She had a BLAST (and a pumpkin full of yummy candy didn't hurt either).  I will post some pictures of her adorable (ahem last minute) Halloween costume when I remember.  We will also be doing Trick-or-Treating at the mall tomorrow.
• Cloth diapering is still going great!!

Product Rave:

• @@@

Any upcoming developments, milestones? What's next?

• Next appointment will be 15 month check up tomorrow!

Roasmond Gifford Zoo Boo... in pictures

Our cute little scarecrow had a blast!  We will definitely be back next year!

 

Mom Review: Baby Sign Language

About a year ago, Kevin and I made the decision to teach Kennedy sign language.  It was a little slow to start and took her a while before she was able to sign back, but we are so glad that we made this decision!  As of right now, she is able to sign almost 20 different signs and understand even more from us.  As she hits her 15 month "Language Explosion", it seems like she is adding a new sign to her vocabulary almost every day.    

We used a combination of books, web resources and Baby Signing Time videos to teach her (and us!).  The videos were, by far, her favorite.  It's pretty exciting to know that Kevin and I are learning another language as well.  We plan to continue with it and maybe take formal ASL (American Sign Language) classes eventually.

Sign language has made communication so much easier and saved us many frustrations (on both sides).  Babies are able to express themselves with sign much sooner than with verbal language, so she is able to tell me what she wants or needs without me having to figure out what her cries and tantrums mean.  Some people are afraid that if their baby learns to sign, it will delay their speaking, but Kennedy talks up a storm.  We encourage Kennedy to sign and speak by signing and speaking ourselves.  She does this with about half of her signs, but the rest will follow soon, I'm sure.  

What a wonderful gift to be able to communicate with and understand your baby!

Here is a video of Kennedy signing

Kennedy's signing vocabulary
(to the best I can remember, in the order she learned them)

1. puppy
2. milk
3. more
4. all done
5. hi and bye
6. please
7. thank you
8. eat
9. bird
10. horse
11. water
12. mama
13. dada
14. bath
15. sleep
16. potty
17. wash hands
18. brush teeth
19. shoes
20. socks

Babywearing Week

Babywearing?  This is a thing?  Umm... yes.  Not in a Lady Gaga meat wearing sense

Eww.  But yes.  I have been wearing Kennedy in various wraps and carriers since she was just a few days old. 

She has always loved it and, truth be told, so have I.  I love feeling her close and it just melts my heart when she falls asleep on my chest or against my back.  I also love having my hands free to cook, clean, shop or... in the case of my oh-my-god-I-have-to-turn-in-this-8-page-paper-TODAY freak out last week, I love being able to pop her in the Ergo on my back and type away.  Sometimes daddy even gets in on the BW fun... usually when I am at work and K is being Captain Cranky Pants, he can put her in a carrier and go about his business while she falls asleep.  Our ring sling has been a lifesaver on vacations and especially in the airport.  It is a breeze to get through security, smushes easily into a diaper bag and enables me to be hands free to deal with all of the paperwork, luggage and other airport hassles.  :)

As you can tell, we are big fans!

So to celebrate Babywearing Week, we will be attending a few events this week and we couldn't be more excited!  Tuesday, we will meet up with some other babywearing mamas at the zoo.  Thursday at the park for a walk and Friday we will be modeling our favorite carrier (Ergo) in a babywearing fashion show.  We are very excited!

If you have any questions about carriers, wraps or babywearing in general... let me know!  I love to spread the word about BW!

Kennedy's 14 Month Check In

It has been a GREAT month!  Kennedy is growing like a weed, learning so many new things.  We JUST got back (literally) from our awesome family vacation to the Outer Banks (more to come, along with pictures, on that later!), but we had an incredible time.  Kennedy loved the beach, as did Lucy.  We got to spend time with Gam Gam, Pappy and Uncle Mike.  It was just a fabulous week.  Kennedy is rocking this toddler thing and never ceases to amaze me.

 
How Big Is Baby?

• Kennedy is 20, maybe 21 pounds now.
• Before we left for vacation, we retired all of her summer outfits, except the ones we brought with us.  Those will {{sniffle}} be retired when we get home.  Her fall/winter clothes are 18 months- 2T and I'm sure she will fit into them easily when we get home.
• Size 4 shoes for now, but her boots are a size 5. 
• Full time cloth diapering. Size smalls and one size- fully extended on the rise and out 2-3 snaps at the waist.  We did switch to size 3 disposables for the trip, mostly because we had a case to get rid of and weren't completely sure about the laundry situation in our rental house.  I'm glad we brought disposables because we had some issues with the washing machine mid-way through the week.  We are, however, VERY happy to be back in cloth tonight.  :)

Development & Milestones

• Running all over the place.  This girl doesn't slow down for ANYTHING.
• We went into the ocean and a swimming pool for the first time this past week.  She was a little unsure (and the pool was very cold) but she did really well.
• She ate really well with utensils this month.  Her coordination is much better and she only dumps her bowl when she is finished and we aren't paying attention.
• Her language is incredible.  She signs so much!  Let's see... dog (of course), milk (OF COURSE, lol), all done, please, bird (her new favorite), eat, water and I'm sure I'm forgetting some.  She is really curious and seems to enjoy learning new signs.  I think we might actually be at the beginning of the 15 month language explosion.
• The tooth count is still at 8... still no molars
• She did surprisingly well through the 6 hour car rides x4.  It is about 12 hours total from home to Nags Head, but we split the trip in half on the way down and back.  She hung out in the back seat with Lucy watching Despicable Me and staring out the window.  We had a few melt downs around hour 5 on all 4 legs, but otherwise she was an angel.  I couldn't believe it!

Diet/Nursing

• Nursing continues to go well for us.  I can tell she is starting to cut back (and I am encouraging) to a few times a day, but the nursing sessions last a little longer than they used to.  Either way, I still love these quiet moments with her.
• Pumping is just about done.  I didn't even bring my big pump with us on vacation.  I did bring a small manual pump to use in case Kevin and I went out on a date night and I used it twice, but otherwise no pumping at all this week, which was nice!  I am planning to really work on cutting back/cutting out pumping sessions completely when we get back.  I don't plan to stop nursing, but this will help (hopefully) to start my cycle again so we can try for baby #2.  Here's to hoping!
• I was able to donate 8 (YES 8!!!!) gallons of breast milk to the National Milk Bank.  I am so proud of myself and my boobies!!  :)  Read more about it here
• BLW is pretty much finished, dare I say?  There isn't a thing this girl will not eat.  This week she tried shrimp, crab and even some hot salsa.  She eats anything and everything.  We are so proud!

Sleep

• Sleep has been excellent!  While on vacation, she kept a great routine, falling asleep round 9 and waking up around 7 or 8.  Part of me was like "aaah!  Wake up at 7??  On vacation??" but at the same time, we were able to see so much and spend so much time outside because we woke up so early.  And honestly, by 9pm, I was ready for bed, lol!
• Naps were pretty good.  She takes one nap a day now and it usually lasts anywhere from 2-3 hours.  She is pretty cranky when it is nap time, but always wakes up in a great mood!

Mommy & Daddy Check In

• Another wonderful month for us.  Kevin's job is going really well and I was just offered a position in our emergency room as an RN.  I have always wanted to work in an ER and am thrilled about this new opportunity.  I'm not sure when I will be starting, but I am very excited!  Health and weight-wise, things are status quo.  We were able to enjoy lots of fun cardio this week with hiking and swimming, a welcome change from running running running earlier in the month.  Lol.

Any appointments, visitors or outings? Anything else new?

• Our major event this month was our vacation.  Otherwise, not a whole lot.  :)
• Cloth diapering is still going great!!

Product Rave:

• I LOVE my new necklace from BouBeads.  It is just beautiful and Kennedy loves to play with it.  It is designed from natural, baby-friendly materials so she can play/chew on it safely while she is nursing or while I am carrying her in her wrap.  It keeps her curious little fingers occupied and (more importantly) out of mommy's hair!

Any upcoming developments, milestones? What's next?

• Next appointment will be 15 months on October 30.

Failing

I knew it wouldn't be easy.  I knew there would be lots of tears and sleepless nights, some missed memories and milestones and more than a few lessons learned... motherhood is a journey.

And being a working mom is really really hard.

Being a mom who works overnight is just plain crazy.

I have enough seniority to work a regular 8 hour day shift, or a 12 hour day shift... but I chose to work a 12 hour overnight shift for a few reasons... better money, less time around the boss, more time to study and most importantly... more time with my little girl.

This sounds like a great idea in theory, but in reailty, it just doesn't seem to be working out quite like I had planned.

Truth be told, lately, I feel like I am failing... or coming dangerously close to doing so.

When I come home from work, all I can think about is sleep.  I try to nap when Kennedy naps, but it is never enough.  When she wakes up from her nap, she is so happy to see me and excited to play with me and I am just... exhausted.  I spend my days just wishing the time away until her next nap.  I put a movie on the iPad, hand her a few toys and try to close my eyes.  "Just five more minutes" is my mantra as I beg her to sleep, to be still or at least to be quiet while I try to sleep just a little bit more.  I drag myself down the stairs and heat up a cup of coffee, often reheat it 4 or 5 times before I actually manage to drink it.  Most days I doubt a coffee IV would even be able to perk me up after a short 2 hours of sleep.

The days are flying by in a sleepy haze and I find myself wondering...

Is it worth it?

I mean, I really have no choice but to work and I have come to terms with that.  But my schedule.  This crazy 12 hour overnight schedule... is it really working for us?  True, I technically get to enjoy more days off... but in a matter of quality vs quantity I'm torn.  Do the extra days off really count if I can barely stay awake enough to actually enjoy them?

I don't want to wish away the days of my daughter's childhood.  They are already flying by way too fast as it is.  I want to enjoy every single sleep deprived moment... but that is easier said than done when you are chugging along in zombie mode with 7 hours of sleep over 3 days. 

I'm not complaining.  I'm really not.  I'm questioning my decision.  Did I make the right choice?  Am I doing ok?  Am I failing her?  How can I possibly make this work?  (Overnight mamas feel free to help me out here!)  CAN I really do this?  Heck, can I even make it through today?

In my sleepy stupor, I hear her tossing books around her nursery while I curl up on the recliner chair and struggle to keep my eyes open.  I hear the Evil Puppy toy sing in between moments of dozing off.  I wonder if she would be better off, be happier if I worked days and she spent her days at day care like other children with working mommies and daddies.  Would she learn more?  Play more?

Then she climbs up on the recliner chair with me, curls up on my lap and just sits.  Quietly.  I kiss her forehead and she gives me the biggest smile.... and I know that I am doing the right thing.  I can sleep later, when she grows up, but right now... whether I am awake or barely hanging on by an undercaffienated thread... I am here with her.  And that is what matters.

God I love this kid.

Never Forget

12 years ago today I was headed to school in Tampa (my one semester stint at the University of South Florida)... the radio station that I listened to during my commute was famous for pranks and practical jokes.  As I listened to reports of the planes crashing into the towers, I couldn't help but think what a screwed up prank this was.  I thought the DJ sounded more serious than usual, but I just couldn't wrap my head around the idea that it could possibly be real.  It was a sick joke.  It had to be a sick joke.  Something so awful would never happen here- in the US.  It just couldn't.  Could it?

I got to school and saw students and teachers huddled around TVs with looks of shock, disbelief and well... shock.  Some looked scared, some were crying openly, some were just so stunned they didn't know what to do.  I got word that classes were cancelled and headed back to Orlando.  I actually ended up going in to work that day (I was a lifeguard at Disney at the time) since they were placed on high alert and needed extra hands.  After work, I went to my friend's apartment where we sat, glued to the TV, listening to the live reports and rescue efforts and watching the list of names scroll through.  I sobbed for hours.

So many names. 

2996.  

Two thousand nine hundred and ninety six of my American brothers and sisters.  

The pictures and videos of the scenes in New York, Washington and Pennsylvania took my breath away.  The "Missing" posters with pictures of babies.  BABIES.  were almost too much.  Imagining those families still clinging to a shred of hope was just awful.  The stories of heroism made me proud and the miraculous recoveries gave me hope.  But the devastation, the tragedy, the heartbreak was just so overwhelming.

How could this happen?  WHY did this happen?

Even now, 12 years and 2 wars later, we still have many questions.  Questions that we will likely never have answers to.

We learn more every day and we live a new normal now.  Few aspects of our lives are left unaffected by the tragedy that occurred 12 years ago today.  Even now, at times, it is difficult to remember what it was like before 9/11.  Sadly, our children will never know a world without terrorism at the forefront.  But hopefully they will never have to experience the same fear and heart break that we collectively shared on that day either.

Today, we pause to mourn, remember and reflect.  Today, I will be reading through this long list of names and I will pray for them, pray for their families.  I will mourn for them and cry for them.  I encourage you to look at this list.  The sheer size alone is pretty powerful and so very sad.

Read their names, speak their names, do something kind today in their honor.  Most of all, ensure that they are not forgotten.